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Golden Assistant – Chapter 22.3

Translator: Polarbearadise

Editor: FirstPersonNarrator

During this time Dumei had called again several times, Xiao Yi was washing the underwear, like a gust of wind he then rushed out to answer the phone, Luzhou rinsed with water several times then finished his shower, he motioned to Xiao Yi to bring the phone over, he wanted to know what exactly was the matter.  

“Ai!” Luzhou said, “what’s this sticky stuff on the phone!

Luzhou’s handsome face that was attached to the mobile phone, had touched a strange liquid.

Xiao Yi ran back to wash Luzhou’s underwear right after Luzhou received the phone, Du Mei said: “It’s one hundred thousand urgent, hurry up and come to the company, the director and producer are both waitings.”

(T/N: 十万火急 (One hundred thousand urgent) – Describe something is urgent to the extreme)

At 10 o’clock in the morning on the same day, in the conference room, Luzhou was mad on the spot.

“I……” Luzhou firmly said, “it isn’t that I’m refusing, but there is really no way! Director Gou!”

“That……Luzhou?” The producer motioned for him to touch his face, Luzhou was puzzled, he touched his face and found that the liquid had already dried up.

Xiao Yi: “……”

At that time when Xiao Yi was driving, he simply couldn’t see the right side of Luzhou’s face, thunder rolled on the spot (AKA Xiao Yi = terrified), but then he (Xiao Yi) thought again, that’s his (Luzhou’s) own ‘thing’, so it doesn’t matter. He immediately went out and tried to find a wet tissue for him.  

Luzhou wiped his face, he simply couldn’t cry out tears, the director who sat in front of him was a big director specialized in filming Republican era, he had helped Luzhou before, his surname was Guo. Director Guo also didn’t force him, he laughed and said: “Alright, if you say it like that, I get it.”

The producer said: “We actually didn’t hold too much hope, knowing that there isn’t an open slot in your schedule.”

Du Mei sighed, and said: “Why does this matter happen every single time.”

There was a voice shouting inside Xiao Yi’s heart, ‘choose me choose me, I’m willing to act!’, it was a pity that it was simply impossible for someone to pick him, whether he could act or not, let’s first not talk about that, if they let him take the role of a supporting male, the drama that originally couldn’t sell would not be able to sell even more.

The thing was, filming would start soon, the investment was already in place, the cast and crew were also complete, the script was changed countless of times, and the screenwriter had changed it to the point of being hospitalized afterwards, it was almost perfect, after reading the script even the TV station stated that they were very satisfied with the drama. However, right at that moment, something bad happened at the same time to the second male lead and male lead.

The male lead had a little fame but didn’t gain much attention, the second male lead was an actor with strength in acting.

Both violating the agreement at the same time resulted in, no suitable actors at this moment. After discussing it with each person, director Guo seemed to have a little interest in Wu Heng Gu, Du Mei and director Guo then went to one side to talk.

Xiao Yi and Luzhou were left in the office.

“They can try to look for that Bai Hua Sheng.” Xiao Yi said, “isn’t he very popular on Tianya?”

(T/N: Tianya = a popular internet forum in China)

“Have you seen him act in any well-known dramas?” Luzhou impatiently said.

Xiao Yi: “Then……what about Huang Mao?”

“His acting is no good, everything is no good.” Luzhou said, “an internet celebrity is still an internet celebrity, they look handsome but can’t act, what’s the use, director Guo is a big director, normally he wouldn’t even visit the forum, he only picks those he thinks he can manage. Have you ever seen Li An go on Tianya to pick up Sì dàn shuāng bīng káng to carry the box office? Besides their online fans, who wants to watch a TV show exhibiting flower vases, this isn’t an antique program.”

(T/N: 李安 (Li An) – Ang Li (1954-), Taiwanese-American film director )

(T/N: 四旦雙冰扛 (Sì dàn shuāng bīng káng) – 4 pairs of most influential mainland of China actress lineup consist of Zhao Wei, Zhang Ziyi, Zhou Xun, Xu Jinglei, Fan Bingbing and Li Bingbing

趙薇VS范冰冰 = Zhao Wei vs. Fan Bingbing

范冰冰VS李冰冰 = Fan Bingbing vs Li Bingbing

章子怡VS范冰冰 = Zhang Ziyi vs Fan Bingbing

周迅VS李冰冰 = Zhou Xun vs. Li Bingbing)

(T/N: 花瓶 (flower vase) – Referring to someone who only has a pretty face)

“Oh.” Xiao Yi understood, he only knew today that this action was called ‘save the show’,  the Republican era drama ‘Fluttering Winds’ was also a project that he had seen in the company’s annual plan, in fact there were five dramas that were given to Luzhou earlier on to pick from, all of them had already gained approval from the higher-ups, among them ‘Fluttering Winds’ there was clearly a major project, but because Luzhou was invited to play a supporting role, therefore Du Mei had thought it over again and again, in the end she still endured the pain and parted with it.

(T/N: 救場 (rescue/save the show) – Stepping in for an absent actor when something happened to the actor or they make a mistake, the relevant personnel will look for another suitable actor so that the shooting could continue. This is what director Guo is currently doing right now because the male lead and 2nd male lead violated the agreement and will no longer be able to participate in the drama, therefore director Guo need suitable actors to replace them.)

Mountain rivers split and the wind blows around unstably, one experiences up and downs in life, Xiao Yi also wanted to act in this one, of course it was simply a dream and nothing more, daydreaming was okay, but acting was very difficult.

(T/N: 山河破碎風飄絮,身世浮沉 (Mountain rivers split and the wind blows around unstably, one experiences up and downs in life) is a line from the poem called The Lonely Ocean by Wen Tianxiang, represents the unrest in a country due to war and the sorrow the author feels for the country because of it (author is a patriot))

“Brother Zhou you want to accept it, right?” Xiao Yi observed his facial expression and body movement to figure out his thoughts, seeing that Luzhou was a little hesitant, as if he remembered something, he seemed to want to get up, his hands pressed against the chair handle, uncertain.

Luzhou didn’t speak, after thinking for a while he said: “It’s because director Guo has carried me.” This sentence escaped his lips, but he sighed again and sat back down.

“Forget it, it can’t be arranged on the schedule.” Luzhou said.

Xiao Yi began to practice his split personality skill, talking to himself, he played the roles of Xiao Yi and Luzhou, and started a dialogue.

“I want to repay director Guo ah.”

“What do you know ah!” Xiao Yi talked to himself, “in show business, if you’re not popular, who would want to invite you?!”  

Luzhou: “……”

Xiao Yi had on the appearance of the rabbit Tuzki, holding a dictionary and using it as a brick, hitting himself on the side of his head, he then turned around and once again began to read his monologue: “Keep it up! Keep it up! Luzhou is a superman!”

“You idiot!” Xiao Yi spoke to himself again, learning Luzhou’s angry voice and said, “have you ever filmed a drama? Rushed across the stage?”

“But this time the person who cried for help is director Guo ah.”

“That isn’t it, it’s because I’m popular.” Xiao Yi talked back to himself and said, “if you are not popular who would ask you.”

Luzhou: “You……”

Xiao Yi: “A useless person like you! Don’t even think about repaying anyone for a lifetime!”

Luzhou: “……”

Xiao Yi: “Nowadays, if you want to repay an important person you also need to be popular, ai, useless persons don’t even have the opportunity to repay a debt of gratitude, it’s a pity it’s a pity.”

Xiao Yi’s split personality skill clearly wasn’t good, while speaking toward the end, he made himself confused, he felt that his voice didn’t sound like Luzhou and it also didn’t sound like his. But before when he and Duma stayed in the dormitory, they often used this method to talk and provoked their roommate, for example they would say, “ah I want to take the graduate exam”, “if you want to take the exam then do it”, “what if I can’t pass the exam”, “how do you know if you haven’t taken the exam ah, is your courage only that much?”……and so on.

Their roommate ate this kind of thing from them, small issues like what to eat at night, big issues like should they take the graduate exam, Duma and Xiao Yi often brazenly helped him os and even ridiculed him in front of the group, finally their roommate couldn’t endure it anymore and went to attend graduate school, and now he had gone abroad to become a music composer and chase after his dream.

(T/N: OS = slang for soliloquy, speaking out someone’s thought)

Luzhou also seemed to have eaten the same thing, Xiao Yi still wanted to say more but Luzhou said: “Shut up for me!”

Luzhou then made up his mind and got up, just as director Guo and Dumei passed through the corridor, Luzhou said: “Director Guo, please go inside, let’s discuss this again.”

That afternoon, Luzhou once again signed another contract.

Director Guo had asked another man to be the male lead, it was not that he didn’t want Luzhou to play the male lead, as long as Luzhou was willing to take it, he could choose any role he wanted, however Luzhou would have to act in two dramas at the same time, and time was very very tight. Fortunately both dramas were filmed in Beijing, so he didn’t need to run too far, in this way Luzhou saved director Guo some face by taking the job to save his show, director Guo immediately had someone make the arrangements, they had to look for the other crew and arrange the time of filming to not conflict with his other drama.

Luzhou regained his soul when he came home, at once he angrily shouted: “Xiao Yi! Your father is going to be killed by you!”

Xiao Yi immediately hid, Luzhou threw the script over Xiao Yi’s head, flying everywhere on the ground.

Xiao Yi: “……”

Luzhou: “……”

It had been many years since Luzhou had taken two dramas at the same time, and with the filming schedule completely the same, when he first debuted he had taken three supporting roles at the same time, he would quickly finish performing in one place then rush to the other like going to the market, but after all it was supporting roles……Now it was one leading role, and one second male lead role.

“What are you still looking at the script for——!” Luzhou roared and said, “Hurry up and arrange the schedule for me!”

Xiao Yi on one hand arranged Luzhou’s working hours in the calendar, while on the other settled a bill with Luzhou’s private dresser, filming would start three days later and he still had to attend Shanghai film festival, they were simply busy to death, and they still needed to prepare several outfits for this year.

After finishing the first week, Luzhou’s work was arranged full, Xiao Yi said: “Yi?”

(T/N: 咦 (yí) – exclamation of surprise)

Luzhou warily asked: “What?”

Xiao Yi said: “Actually you film very little at night, looking at this schedule, you still could accept another drama.”

Luzhou: “……”

“Chief Xiao.” Luzhou said solemnly, “You should be nice to your money tree, understand? Although I earn a lot of money, the situation depends on whether my mood is good, maybe, depending on the situation I would occasionally reward you a little bit of meat soup, (roaring) but if your male god accepted another acting role and his liver exploded to death!!! You would have to wander the streets!!! Understand!!!”

(T/N: Meat soup = in this context mean money )

(T/N: 搖錢樹 (money tree) – a legendary tree that sheds coins when shaken)

Xiao Yi: “……”

Xiao Yi knew that Luzhou was still very happy, he was a man with great affection, from less than a year of interacting with him day and night, Xiao Yi clearly recognized that point about Luzhou. He didn’t believe what other people said, he only looked at what other people did, and how good they treated him, although he didn’t admit it, he would always remember it.  

Of course, to people who weren’t good to him, he would also hold a grudge.

Like on the first day he started working, Luzhou had shouted at the stage props assistant very fiercely, only because the stage props assistant had seen that Xiao Yi stood next to the wall, afraid he couldn’t hear, he had said in a loud voice: “Hey! Don’t stand there!”

Luzhou’s face immediately sank, he said: “That is my assistant, don’t think that you can yell at him because you saw that I yelled at him, only I can yell at him, other people can’t yell at him.”

When Luzhou started talking, that assistant immediately realized that he mistook him for someone else, he hurriedly apologized to Xiao Yi and also brought his teacher over, only then did Luzhou drop it.

Xiao Yi originally thought that he already had a general idea of what to do when joining the crew, however filming in Beijing was not the same as filming in Hengdian. The interior scenery was all sponsored by real estate, when choosing a model room, a swarm of people would rush in like locusts then obstruct the passageway, they would set up lights set up the lights, hit the clapperboard hit the clapperboard, just like filming commercials.

“How much is this house.” Xiao Yi asked.

The house was big and very spacious, it was decorated into a compartment of an office building, the director sat while reading the script, he answered: “It’s more than eight million yuan, the house here is expensive, what, you want to buy?”

“I can’t afford it.” Xiao Yi said.

Xiao Yi raised his head and looked around in all directions.

The director had a Beijing dialect, he talked like a ballad tune, he frequently also liked to joke around, Xiao Yi sat on one side, and thought to himself that this drama certainly would not be as tiring as when filming in Hengdian, no wonder people liked to film this kind of small cost production, as long as they could invite a big shot and as long as there was enough dog blood in the script, the director would have less work and the actors could relax, moreover they could also save money.

(T/N: 狗血 (Dog blood) = melodrama)

“Come come.” The director laughed and said, “Teacher Lu, this little one doesn’t dare to tell you how to act your part in the drama, you can do as you wish.”

Everyone laughed, Luzhou’s face was serious, he “hmm-ed” to express his agreement, knowing that the director loved to talk and loved to laugh, he also didn’t want to say anything much to him, he went over to change his clothes, then lay down on the table.

Luzhou changed into a white shirt and western trousers, his hair was a complete mess, he wore a pair of glasses and old sports shoes, he lay on the lunch table, one side of his face was glued to the tabletop, he was sleeping with his mouth slightly open.

“Hey——” The female editor-in-chief surged up a mighty and violent wave of turbulence and said, “get up!”

Luzhou was suddenly startled, he grabbed his glasses, when he raised his head he happened to see the female editor-in-chief’s chest, he yelled ‘wa’ loudly with a face that blushed red, and fell.

(T/N: Wa = sound of surprise)

Luzhou’s action was very exaggerated but also very amusing, Xiao Yi didn’t expect that Luzhou acting in a modern drama would be like this, and this was totally not the style he had imagined. When Xiao Yi saw the script, he thought several times that Luzhou should play the playboy type of WuHeng, furthermore who else could be like Luzhou, from head to toe dressed in a western-style suit, the first two buttons undone, conveniently fiddling with a glass of wine in his hand while sitting on a sofa?

On one side surrounded by beautiful women with a butler stationed on the other side, Luzhou with this general offensive temperament should be the first choice for this role ah!

However Luzhou played a thirty-years-old virgin, nevertheless it was a living spirit, a living image, Xiao Yi almost didn’t recognize him either.

(T/N: 活靈活現 (living spirit, living image) = idiom for vivid and realistic)

The camera pushed forward filming Luzhou’s face, Luzhou heaved a sigh, he grabbed his glasses and stood up, flustered as he sat down properly, two hands placed on the table, in addition his hand was also nimbly turning the pen, the pen was very flexible, going from thumb to middle finger and again to little finger (aka pinky).

Almost everyone couldn’t help but want to applaud, Luzhou’s facial expression and demeanor, also his movements, all were very much into the drama.

“Go do the interview for me!” the female editor-in-chief threw a stack of manuscripts in front of Luzhou’s face, the stack of papers collapsed and flew everywhere, then patrolling around the office.

“The quality of the manuscript last month was very poor.” The female editor-in-chief said, “take it seriously.”

Luzhou’s face was helpless, he looked at the ceiling, then took his coat and got up.

“Cut.” The director said.

The assistant stepped forward to do some arrangements, one scene of the drama was finished.

After that Luzhou continued to film, he was alone and freely flipped through the materials in front of the cabinet, he conveniently came over to the office to answer the phone.

“Okay!” Luzhou said, “right away!”

Luzhou quickly ran out, then almost slipped, he then ran back to flip through the folder and took out an old photo.  


The next scene was of Luzhou lying in a swivel chair, his two feet joined together, he had taken off his shoes and placed them on top of the table, he raised his head and looked up at the ceiling. The camera lens was pushed forward, filming his face. Luzhou was silent for a moment then let out a deep sigh, he held a photo in his hand, having difficulty with doing the action of swallowing, his eyes were a little red.

Three seconds later, Luzhou made a ‘pfff’ sound and laughed.

Everyone: “……”

“Who was the one that prepared the picture!” Luzhou didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, he dropped the picture of the table and said, “What’s the meaning of using a picture of a panda! Even if the acting king wants to cry it won’t come out!”  

Everyone in the crew was laughing crazily, the director asked: “Who brought an old picture, the old picture of the female lead wasn’t brought over?”

“It’s not here yet.” The stage props said, “how about we change the angle?”

“I have one.” Xiao Yi said.

Xiao Yi had a picture of him as a child in his wallet, he took it out and gave it to Luzhou, Luzhou looked at it thoughtfully, he motioned the director to begin again.

Xiao Yi motioned to ask if he wanted eye drops, Luzhou waved his hands (indicated he doesn’t need it).

Luzhou held the picture, in the script this scene was after the female lead left, the male lead kept a picture of her when she was a child, then there were numerous flashbacks with the lyrical theme song, the memories stirred up the emotions, the male lead also had a crying scene.


7 thoughts on “Golden Assistant – Chapter 22.3

  1. This reader lost any and all composure when the update showed up on her list. Hallelujah, praise be to the gods of danmie this lovely has been updated! Lovingly strokes phone screen. Thank you translator-san!
    Xiao Yi must’ve looked like a lunatic talking to himself like that lol. Also, tsundere feels much? “I’m the only one who can yell at him”? rly Luzhou??

    Liked by 2 people

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