I don’t know how he defined that word.
The reason why that person found me, was certainly for the purpose of “experiencing life.”
Was he selfish?
How should I describe a man who agreed and was overjoyed?
That was the most exact word.
Regarding homosexuals, like everyone who worked hard to get out of the film school, in his eyes……
It was merely a verb, you need two nouns to create a verb and nothing more.
(T/N: In the Chinese language, two verbs could be used to create a noun)
Simple and not important.
But being a couple with a person of the same sex, that person clearly showed the attitude of somewhat hesitant.
Or to say, a little repulsion, until now it had been two weeks since we started “dating.”
The most intimate act was a hug and it was a stiff hug.
He was reading the script for Lan Yu while his manager was currently in the process of negotiating with the people in Hong Kong, but from the beginning till the end he couldn’t find the feelings that Lan Yu had toward Han Dong, even though I was used as practice, nothing was gained, his irritation was affecting me making me feel uneasy and unfathomably guilty.
Today he obviously ended work early, but he didn’t go home rather he invited a group of actors and several stage crew members with similar age out to go wild.
I returned home, as usual, I would cook a two-person meal, I would plug in the electric water heater, steep a large pot of scented tea, and sit in the living room to turn on the television.
Seven o’clock, the news broadcast began.
Eight o’clock, the announcements began.
Nine o’clock, the finance and economic news began.
Ten o’clock, the evening news began.
Eleven o’clock, the sports news was over.
Twelve o’clock, the news of the day was finished and he had, of course, not come back.
I didn’t know how long it had been but I was sure that he wouldn’t be back tonight, I sighed and supported my body to get up, wanting to put the food into the refrigerator, I turned the water heater off and drained the tea.
There were sounds of the door opening.
My neck and eyes stiffened when I saw the open door, he was drunk and walked feebly into the house.
“Why haven’t you slept yet?” The words he said caused me to sober up.
“It’s nothing, I can’t sleep anyway. Do you still want to eat something? Do you want to take a shower or drink some water first?”
“Boy……there is a problem … … aren’t you… … a homosexual?!” Sure enough, he was still drunk and spoke with a big tongue.
“Yes. I am, and I like you.” He wouldn’t remember it anyway, I had to speak out the truth of what had been constraining my emotions.
“Hehe……earlier I…….already knew……”
His feet staggered, I quickly helped him, he took advantage of the opportunity and fell into my arms, he was more than one hundred and eighty centimeters and as a result, we fell on the floor together, we were tangled in a very ambiguous position.
His breath carried a warm taste of liquor as it blew against my neck making me feel numb all over, even the four limbs of my body turned numb, I tried to push him away but he grabbed my hand and pressed down more firmly: “How annoying……I’m annoyed, you know? I can’t think, I don’t know how to act it……Teach me……you teach me……man and man……you teach me……
I stared blankly letting him babble “teach me” repeatedly, when the blankness within my brain cleared up, I embraced him tightly and brazenly kissed his solid chest, murmuring fiery as I answered him:
“Okay, I’ll teach you well.”
The next morning on the hard floor, scattered with his and my clothes, the scattered clothes were splashed with his and my semen, and my blood.
As he accomplished half of it, he then insisted on entering me, I didn’t plan to resist therefore I was defeated. Regarding this, it was, of course, his first time and also mine therefore the magnificent sight was overflown with blood when I thought that this deep pain and throbbing would never end, he finally growled and fell on my body, I was able to have my wish fulfilled as he fainted.
The next day I woke up and was surrounded by the familiar smell of seven-star cigarettes.
“Are you alright?” He said throwing the cigarette into the ashtray.
My throat was so sore, I could only smile at him signaling that I was alright. Even if there was something the matter, it was also alright, I would pretend to be sensible.
He was silent but suddenly reached out to rub my hair, his hand stopped at my face, reaching out as if not reaching out to touch it, he laughed:
“Why is your face so soft? Really interesting.”
I obediently let him trample on me, I wanted to use my tongue to lick his big hand, he grabbed my jaw and lifted my face looking at me carefully, I tried to evade his gaze when he suddenly pulled me into his arms and held me, patting my back like a baby, my eyes failed to live up to expectations as they became moist.
As I hid in his arms, there was a mixture of cigarette and Adi perfume, I closed my eyes.
Saying nothing at all.
Something had changed, I knew and I believed that he knew as well.
He still constantly wanted to grasp ahold of the feelings of Lan Yu making him become anxious, one time I lied on top of his leg listening to him saying hatefully: “Where in the world can you find a person like that? This author really has balls for writing this, people who sleep around inside the circle don’t connect to the book. Nowadays, to film a good show is there anyone who is so in love that they’re willing to pay this big of a price? Deceiving people, truly deceiving people!”
I stood up and looked at him earnestly: “There is, I’m exactly like that toward you.”
He was dumbfounded as he was in a predicament of not knowing how to answer.
From that day I simply never concealed my passion, in any case, I had loved sincerely, as for the result I knew that I couldn’t have any extravagant hopes, that was why I simply didn’t want to think about it.
His kissed me quietly just like what I wished for and carefully sucked on my lips, I was seeking his touch hungrily, he hesitated but still gently complied to me, the afternoon kiss was gradually filled with sensual passion……
Flowers bloom and wither, all things must go through a
I’m just a normal person,
Being able to have this kind of blooming process–I’m already content.