Actually, there are some things that no one is clear about, in fact, you don’t have to inflict pain on yourself.
You still have a chance.
The days spent together with that person wasn’t as colorful as I thought. It was actually tiring, all day filming and rushing, that person could only catch a breath in the middle of the night. In order not to deal with those boring reporters, that person had to speed in a circle around City 18 until he could slip out and head back to his house that doesn’t have any fancy decoration.
I’m was a full-time, 24/7 assistant, regarding this my uncle had already told the company since the beginning, probably to make it convenient for my stepmother and father to take advantage of the holiday and bring my half-related brother out to celebrate. Therefore I had to follow that person home to cook, clean and sleep.
Unexpectedly, that person was easy to get along with, his personality was open and clear, he wasn’t arrogant at all.
I remember the first day the rice I cooked turned black, that person and I looked at it for a long time without any courage to pick it up with our chopsticks, that person didn’t say anything.
When it came to his career, that person wasn’t going through severe hardships like what most people thought, however toward his work, each script that person received, the earnestness that person poured into studying it meticulously could be seen clearly making it develop into good acting, that person had a good work ethic thus he had a great reputation in the circle.
However he wasn’t really a serious and earnest person, living in this city for too long, his body was also inevitably caught in the city’s exclusive cynicism, he had to be slick and clever.
That day he came back early than usual, his face showed a look of excitement that could not be concealed, he hid in his room without any movements for more than three hours. I was a little worried, I carried a glass of water to him and saw him looking at a script squinting his eyes so they became very small, when he concentrated on something he would always show this expression.
“What movie script makes you so captivated?”
He turned around and looked at me, he beckoned me to come over and said to me in a high tone: “It’s a copy of a fax from a great director in Hong Kong, it’s a big movie production and it’s going to take part in the Berlin Film Festival!”
I was sincerely happy for him and decided to replace the water with beer, he drank a big gulp and was once again totally absorbed in the script, I quietly exited the room and sat outside staring blankly.
I finished preparing the dinner, it cooled down, I then heated it up, it cooled down again……this continued to repeat making me anxious that he certainly would not eat it, the door then opened.
He gave me the empty cup and slumped to sit beside me, he wasn’t high-spirited like when he first walked through the door.
I was a little worried, anxiously I asked him: “What’s wrong? Is the role difficult to act?”
“Yes.” He sighed: “If I can’t perform well, my name will go down in history as a byword for infamy.”
“Is it a historical drama?”
“No, it is a homosexual film.”
Like being pricked by something I almost jumped up, luckily I quickly remembered to cover my mistake, afterward I asked: “It’s not that serious right, to act in a homosexual film……if the acting in that one isn’t good, it can go as far as have your name go down in history as a byword for infamy?”
“You don’t understand, I’m taking on a role of a child that’s absolutely pure like an angel, with the except of novels that kind of person can’t be found elsewhere, in the eyes of many people he is a classic, an irreplaceable spokesperson for a loyal and dependable love……”
What that person said was a little exaggerated, a name naturally appeared in my mind:
“Lan Yu …………”
I was only thinking about it but unexpectedly blurted it out.
“How did you know?” He was taken aback.
“I … …” I couldn’t say it, how could I tell him that two years ago I already knew Lan Yu and like almost everyone else, I also liked that boy who was clear as a crystal.
“I … I often surf the internet …”
My face and neck burned with panic, I could hardly utter a single word.
He came up suddenly and drew too close, my face was so hot that I could almost boil eggs, his breath blew on my neck almost touching my ear, I heard him say: “Do me a favor, be my lover for two days?”
All my nerves were muddled along without any aim, this sentence made me lose all of my logical thinking ability, I looked at his handsome face in a silly manner complying to the first idea that emerged in my mind: