There is a tiny stardust that falls in love with a dazzling star.
It certainly isn’t wrong.
But, it will be very painful.
I, a two-year college graduate frantically searching for a job and repeatedly suffering from failure, had fallen in love with a person that was a man.
In less than three years after he had graduated from film school, he was currently a popular celebrity that burned your hand and made you feel the heat when touched.
The first time I saw him was in a recording studio. In these months and years, all the celebrities regardless of men or women acted in two or more episodes of a TV drama, gained a little reputation then changed their career to singing. The money they earned, no one knew whether all of it directly went to the film director in order to gain attention or not?
I, at that time, was, unfortunately, sitting at home waiting hopelessly for a reply from my twenty-second job application. My uncle found out by chance and said that a young man like me needed to enter the world and learn to break through the struggles in life, he grabbed me and brought me over to his workplace to assign me a summer part-time job.
I didn’t have any ambition, therefore, I followed right away.
As a result, the content of this part-time job would make thousands of lovestruck young girls indecently drool:
For an entire two months I was his “assistant”– Because in this democratic society even if they were servants, they also needed to be called by a nicer name.
He was singing, when I went to the recording studio, I heard his voice.
A fearless voice singing genuinely, very sincere.
I was stunned because the song he sang was about the passionate love of a mother toward her son who left home after coming of age.
Unfortunately, I only had a stepmother, though she hadn’t treated me badly but it certainly couldn’t be considered as good either. That was why the song touched the void inside of me and stirred my heart until my uncle pushed me and said a sentence: “Work hard to observe more and be less intruding in other’s business.”
I then sobered up and wiped my face, my hands were full of water.
Later I realized that all the tears that had been accumulated over the years, had been awakened by the voice of that person.
He walked out of the studio in a very slow pace, his complexion was relaxed.
When seeing him, for a bunch of people it was like seeing a crab steamed stuffed bun that just came out of the oven, they would surround him to inquire about his well-being and complement him. My uncle accompanied by me also approached him with a flattering smile that I had never seen and said: “Let this child follow you, you’re welcome to order him around, he just nests at home and provoke gossip……”
After hearing that I instantly realized that was why my uncle was so eager to find me a job, in the eyes of my stepmother a 20-year-old that wasn’t her biological son was a parasite, of course, only worth to be described by two words like “gossip.”
(T/N: 闲话 (Gossip) = 2 words in Chinese)
He, due to respect, would then look at me, he couldn’t refuse but had to nod. I thought at that moment in his eyes he didn’t even realize if I were a male or female, he seemed like someone who just wanted to sleep, though in the next instant before he left, I didn’t know what kind of medicine he accidentally took, but he actually turned around and smiled at me.
His gentle smile radiated from the corner of his eyes in between his eyebrows, it was very lethal especially at the time when I was lost in the desert filled with emotion, a drop of water was very precious to me not to mention that he generously gave me a bottle.
I think that it was probably also at that time that I fell in love with him.
Falling in love with a person still, needs a reason.
A person, when they are most vulnerable, it is especially easy to fall in love with another person.
I unluckily was born with Scorpio as my constellation I was destined to suffer because being born under this sign when falling in love with a person, it is very difficult to have a change of heart.
When you get caught up in the same position as me and your heart clearly understands that it is hopeless to begin with when that time comes find me and together we will sing a sad song, my friend.