Just amateur work, if you decide to read enjoy 🙂 <3.
Speaking of Luzhou, ever since the beginning of his debut, you can eloquently said that in just three days, his popularity surpassed the top idols that had already debuted for a couple of years. He swept across the Horizon, Weibo, Internet and other popular media sites. At the young age of 25, he participated in his first drama and its box office sold a great amount of tickets. Luzhou steals the hearts of millions of girls of all ages.
(T/N: Weibo is China’s social media site, a combination of Twitter and Facebook)
Starring in the tv drama The Fluttering Street, Luzhou successfully turned the tide for the television station, saving it from the verge of collapse with a 2.3 viewing rating. Closely speaking, the Chinese mainland drama had given him a dose of cardiac stimulant. He and his girlfriend Zhang Xinran’s sweet romance bloomed, they became the Golden couple in the entertainment world, achieving success in both their careers and love lives.
(T/N: Cardiac stimulant = Increase heart rate)
(T/N: Golden couple mean in the public eyes they are perfect/lovely. The world was derived from the couple, golden boys and jade maidens, the attendants of Daoist immortal.)
Because of this, many people envy, jealous and hated Luzhou, a young man who obtained remarkable achievements. The internet frequently launches various attacks on him, implying that his first debut film was obtained through the unspoken rule. Also, by clinging to Zhang Xinran’s thigh, he received many opportunities to star as the main lead.
(T/N: Unspoken rule is sleeping with other in order to gain something)
(T/N: Clinging on a woman’s thigh is dependent on someone else to gain fame)
Of course, living off woman is the three words that absolutely couldn’t be mentioned. Not only those three words, the keywords “soft rice” or “soft” and so on. And all the intentional or unintentional talk about a man being supported by a woman, clinging to their thigh, being nurtured by them, unspoken rules, counterfeits, or anything of the like also can’t be mentioned. Other sensitive contents like “hit” or “being hit” and vulgar phrases that insinuates male with male relations can’t be mentioned.
(T/N: ‘hit’ mean in the intercourse, you are on top. ‘Being hit’ you’re on the bottom.)
(T/N: Soft rice = Depend on a woman for money, a place to live, etc. In Luzhou’s case, they are saying he depend on woman to get offers and gain fame)
“I understand.” Xiao Yi nodded with seriousness.
Assistant Lin drove the car while instructing Xiao Yi, and said: “Luzhou minds personal hygiene a lot, moreover you can’t refute anything he says, especially not to teach him anything, understand?”
“Yes, I understand.” Xiao Yi said.
“Are you often.. getting scolded by your girlfriend..” Assistant Lin glanced at Xiao Yi
(T/N: Assistant Lin asked that because based on his reaction, it showed that he had been scolded a lots and never fight back.)
“To the point of shedding tears.” Xiao Yi said helplessly, “I often get scolded, but it doesn’t matter, I will not fight back.”
Assistant Lin gently patted his shoulder and said: “You are competent for this work, I like you.”
Xiao Yi asked: “Has Luzhou driven away many assistants?”
Assistant Lin looked at Xiao Yi with sympathy. Xiao Yi thought about asking Luzhou for his autograph to give to his girlfriend since if his girlfriend knew he had become Luzhou’s assistant, perhaps they could reconcile their relationship. However, it seems hopeless, the autograph……in the future, he would have to take a look at his luck again.
Assistant Lin stopped in front of a villa with it’s perimeter heavily guarded, Assistant Lin said: “I will give you the access cards to the property later, now I’ll take you into Luzhou’s house.”
“You have to watch him carefully when he hangs out with other artists.” Assistant Lin rolled down the window, pulling the car into the district and said: “You can’t express any love towards them, long story short, don’t praise his rivals. Don’t show your admiration to other artists, even if it is his friends, understand?”
“I understand.” Xiao Yi said.
Assistant Lin parked the car in the garage, opened the door and lead Xiao Yi in. The boy was immediately shocked when seeing the view inside the house.
“Everyday there will be someone who’ll come and clean this place.” Assistant Lin said, “So you don’t have to worry about cleaning the house.”
Xiao Yi took off his gray shoes and carefully stood on the wooden floor, Assistant Lin then said: “When Luzhou tells you to do something, you will do it. But if he doesn’t call you, you don’t particularly have to be attentive, just ensure that when he calls you, you will arrive as soon as possible.”
“Yes.” Xiao Yi replied.
“If you can’t come in time.” Assistant Lin said, “Just say, for example, I didn’t hear anything and put on a pitiful expression, or say that you fell on the floor, he won’t blame you.”
Xiao Yi nodded.
On the dining table lay a map containing the layout of the house. The first floor consists of a living room, the kitchen, a dining hall and a big garden outside. The second floor is a big room, and the third floor is also a big room. In addition, there is a large basement attached to the house.
Assistant Lin felt a little worried that Xiao Yi can’t control this difficult workload. Xiao Yi, as if set a firm resolve and said: “I will do my best.”
“Don’t be anxious.” Assistant Lin said, “President Du will introduce you to Luzhou in the evening, later, I will take you to buy new clothes. Don’t worry, the company will pay for everything.”
Xiao Yi breathed a sigh of relief. On the same day, he took another bath and changed into entirely different clothes. He has a tall figure, about 1m78 (5’8), just a little bit shorter than Luzhou, but not too short in comparison. His look is more handsome than any common assistant, but can’t compare to Luzhou’s, therefore he won’t steal the idol’s spotlight.
In short, looking at the mirror, Xiao Yi understood why Du Mei is willing to hired him, whether from appearance or character, he is very suitable. Right now he is very self-confident, and prepared to be scolded by anyone. He is ready to make a leap into a new life in this cursed world.
That evening, Du Mei arranged Xiao Yi and Luzhou to meet, Xiao Yi was anxious, causing his stomach to ache, but he decide to endure it.
Du Mei unaware of it, playing on her phone and casually said: “Don’t be nervous, Luzhou is ill-spoken, but actually soft-hearted, he get along with people very well, as long as you don’t mess with his temper, you guys will easily get along.”
Xiao Yi doesn’t dare to speak about meeting the male god in the bathroom and was almost urinated on him, only nodded his head, thinking who are they trying to deceit? No matter how many came, they all got fired? Countless of people couldn’t stand it, now it is his turn?
Luzhou arrived, Xiao Yi immediately sit straight up of reflex, when he about to stand up, Du Mei placed a hand on his shoulder and pinned him down.
Du Mei said toward Luzhou: “Why are you late? How many time did I told you not to come late?”
“Traffic jam—It’s not like I want to.” Luzhou said angrily as he seated, taking off his sunglasses, he continued “I thought you are at the company……Why are you here?”
Xiao Yi and Luzhou suddenly meet face to face.
No matter how Xiao Yi imagined, he didn’t think that his own destiny, in just one day, had earth-shaking changes.
A moment ago, he was suffering from poverty in a rental house, and look at him now, currently sitting in the same dinning table of the idol that swept millions of girls and boys off their feet.
Xiao Yi stared at Luzhou, he had to admit Luzhou is really handsome, moreover, the person in the tv drama can’t compare with the actual person in flesh. Outside of the screen he is even more attractive.
“Hello.” Xiao Yi said with courage, “Mr. Lu, the company hired me to be your personal assistant.”
Du Mei said: “Luzhou, this is Xiao Yi, Xiao Yi, this is Luzhou. You guys look like you know each other. Did you guys meet before?”
Luzhou didn’t speak, but issued a vague sound through his nostrils and readily took the menu. Seeing that, Xiao Yi immediately got up and headed out and call the waiter, but was stopped by Du Mei: “The food is already ordered, and Xiao Yi, just call him Zhou Ge.”
(T/N: Adding Ge only applied to other male, calling him older brother. Doesn’t work on old, old male)
“Did you order the Goose Liver plate?” Luzhou asked.
“Uhm.” Du Mei said, “Today, Wang Dao called me. Yongyu company recommended you to him, he came to ask if you were interested in next year’s project by Anhui. It’s an ancient drama that the government funded and consists of 40-episodes.”
“What the hell,” Luzhou said, “Not interested, didn’t I say last time not to accept ancient dramas? What happened to the modern drama?”
“Don’t worry, I already dropped it for you.” Du Mei said casually.
Luzhou glared at Du Mei, but by this time, the waiters had served the food and the three people no longer discussed the subject. Luzhou crossed his legs, sitting flashily, putting both hands behind the chair, and examined Xiao Yi.
“Xiao Yi used to engage in creating music.” Du Mei said, “The company arranged for him to follow you, wanting you to lead and teach him.”
Xiao Yi smiled.
“Music.” Luzhou curled his lips, saying nothing more and continued eating the a la carte.
A moment later he then said: “I’ll be returning home to go to sleep.”
Xiao Yi glanced at Du Mei and received a nod from her, Xiao Yi to immediately stand up and fetch the idol’s coat while Luzhou put on his sunglasses. He walked in front, while Xiao Yi followed behind, holding his coat and dare not to speak.
He knows that rich men don’t like speaking to their horse keeper, so being invisible is the best.
(T/N: Horse keeper refer to servant or in this case, assistant)
Before, he frequently ridiculed the lackey of those rich boys. He never thought in the blink of an eye, time flew and a bunch of people rose to success and became wealthy. As for him, instead of becoming successful, he was destined to become a rich man’s horsekeeper—This reminded him how unfair this world really is.
Luzhou totally regarded Xiao Yi as air. Standing in front of the car, he looked at Xiao Yi as if he was an idiot, Xiao Yi immediate snap out of his depressing thoughts and run over to help the idol open his door, Luzhou then moved sideways to enter.
“Next time don’t repeat the same mistake again.” Luzhou pointed his index finger straight at Xiao Yi.
Xiao Yi didn’t dare to speak, only nodding his head, and internally feeling a little afraid.
On the way, it was complete silence as the driver drove both them back to the idol’s home. When Xiao Yi got off, he said to the driver: “Thank you, and good work today.”
The driver responded with sympathetic eyes, “Young man, you did a good job.”
Xiao Yi looked dumbfounded, it seems Luzhou’s character is quite famous throughout the company.
When Luzhou entered the house, Xiao Yi immediately turned on all of the lights.
The moment Luzhou came home, he brought out his headphones and before completely putting them on Xiao Yi asked: “Do you want to take a bath now? I will get the hot water ready.”
But Luzhou completely ignored what Xiao Yi said.
Xiao Yi ponders for a bit, then decides to head into the bathroom and fill the bathtub with hot water.
A moment later, he saw Luzhou walking back and forth in the living room, mouthing something to himself, he then headed to the bathroom as if sleepwalking.
“Hey!” Luzhou roared.
Xiao Yi immediately entered the bathroom while holding a new pair of clothes.
“Why is the water so hot?!” Luzhou yelled angrily, “Do you want to burn me to death?!”
Xiao Yi: “….”
On the first day of his new job, Xiao Yi successfully caused the male god to scold him several times. Xiao Yi attempted to turn on the cold water, but Luzhou waved his hand and said: “No need!”
The frosted glass reflected Luzhou’s tall stature and proportional body, his shapely strong build, long hands and legs, Xiao Yi placed the clothes down and quickly withdrew from the bathroom.
Xiao Yi opened the next day’s schedule that assistant Lin handed to him. He heard Luzhou humming in the bathroom and waited for him to finish his shower and head upstairs with his slipper, before he could let out a sigh of relief. He had been planning to enjoy Luzhou’s jacuzzi, and just finished taking his clothes off while rubbing his eyes in front of the mirror, when he heard Luzhou’s voice yelling in the corridor: “Hey!”
Xiao Yi: “….”
Xiao Yi rushed to put his clothes back on and headed out with full speed. When he saw Luzhou, he was wearing his bathrobes and lying on his bed.
Luzhou, without sparing Xiao Yi a glance, said: “I called you several times, are you deaf?!”
Xiao Yi replied: “I’m sorry, just when I was about to come up, I accidently bumped into the staircase.”
“Forget it.” Luzhou said.
Assistant Lin’s tip is very effective, Luzhou then lazily said: “Where is my water?”
Xiao Yi then headed downstairs to pour water.
Luzhou said: “Where is the ice?!”
Xiao Yi turned around, like a gust of wind, headed downstairs again to get ice. He wanted to throw the cup at him right then and there, but think about the 8,000 yuan! Even after tax! This year he will be holding 20,000 yuan!
Well, in order to obtain the autograph and get his girlfriend back, he just needed to endure it all.
Xiao Yi smiled, although exhausted, but still put on a strong front and said: “Sorry brother Zhou, this is my first time, I don’t know your habits yet, next time I will definitely remember.”
“Uhm.” Luzhou casually said, “Next time, remember to prepare an ice beverage after I have taken a bath.”
Xiao Yi stood, waiting for more instruction from Luzhou, hoping he won’t act on a whim and let him be excused, but Luzhou pointed at the Ipad on his nightstand.
“See what the comments on Weibo said.” Luzhou said
Xiao Yi: “…..”
A big star like him still needed to see comments about himself on weibo? Xiao Yi started to have a new understanding towards Luzhou. Opening Luzhou’s Ipad and logging onto Weibo, there were over 3000 reposts and 7000 messages. On top there is a picture of Luzhou and his girlfriend posing together with a chihuahua that belonged to his girlfriend, Zhang Xinran.
At the bottom, there are tons of comments, this is the first time Xiao Yi seen this crazy amount of comments and reposting. Compared to Luzhou’s popularity, his weibo is simply shabby, since it’s mostly about marketing news.
“Read.” Luzhou said
“*kiss* emoji” Xiao Yi carefully said, “Handsome male god….*kneel**kiss* emoji….”
“Any hairstyle looks good on my beloved Zhou…”
“Male god for a thousand years.”
“Next to you is your little partner 2333…”
(T/N: 2333 or 哈哈 mean laughing like lol)
“Zhou Wang Hao….”
Xiao Yi didn’t react on time and said: “According to…”
Xiao Yi realized that what he was about to say wasn’t right and corrected himself: “….Handsome!”
“What?” Luzhou heard the tone of hesitation from Xiao Yi’s voice and said, “Bring it over to me.”
Xiao Yi suddenly sensed an unlucky premonition, he is finished—–The comments said:
@XiaoMeizi: Her face looks alienated, looked just like the chihuahua, the couple both got plastic surgery? Nothing is natural on their body ha-ha.
Luzhou took the Ipad and took a deep breath. Xiao Yi thought ‘this is bad, very very bad’, the male god is going to destroy the house. Surprisingly, Luzhou seemed to be under control and threw the Ipad back, almost hitting Xiao Yi.
Xiao Yi picked up the Ipad, wanting to read some commentary of praises to comfort Luzhou.
Luzhou then said: “Add this one to the blacklist.”
Xiao Yi made a sound of approval, before he could block that person, Luzhou then said: “Use another Ipad, remember the name, search for this weibo and drown them to death.”
Xiao Yi: “…..”
‘You don’t have to go that far!’ Xiao Yi felt like he is being pulled into this mess.
Luzhou said: “There are over 20 accounts on this Ipad, take turns on each to go into that person’s weibo, comment several times on their recent post.”
Xiao Yi bite the bullet and criticized the person on weibo angrily. For example, using all his brain energy, he said
“How can you say that!”
“My Zhou is a natural beauty!”
“What you said is incorrect!”
his heart was filled with many unspeakable words. Luzhou picked up his Ipad again and opened that commenter’s weibo. He looked at it with an unsatisfied expression, but didn’t say anything.
“Go on Taobao.” Luzhou said.
(T/N: Taobao is Chinese site for online shopping, like Amazon and Ebay)
Xiao Yi: “….”
Xiao Yi opened Taobao, bewildered.
Luzhou said: “Look at the homepage!”
Xiao Yi opened the homepage immediately, Luzhou glimpsed at it and made some kind of gesture, making Xiao Yi confused.
Luzhou then impatiently said: “Flip the page! Are you stupid?”
Internally, Xiao Yi is angrily spitting fires at the male god ‘even surfing Taobao I have to help you, do I have to take care of your girlfriend for you too?’
(T/N: Spitting fire = cursing. The ‘you’ Xiao Yi use is informal)
Xiao Yi flipped the page while holding the Ipad in front of Luzhou. Afraid he can’t see it clearly, Xiao Yi got closer. Luzhou smell an unfamiliar scent close to him, and said with despise: “Why are you so close?”
Xiao Yi then took a little step away and turned the page. On the recommended section, Luzhou saw a wooden tissue box, he seem to be interested in the box and said: “Take a look at it.”
Xiao Yi clicked on the picture, then Luzhou said: “Go on, scroll.”
Xiao Yi began to adapt to Luzhou’s rhythm, he scrolled down for more wooden and plastic tissue boxes, then Luzhou said: “Put all in the cart.”
Xiao Yi: “….”
44 tissue boxes, all in the shopping cart, Luzhou lifted his finger, Xiao Yi understood and continued accompanying him on the journey to search Taobao. Luzhou eyed the miniature glass pot and as a result, bought over 30. Then 20 biscuit doughs.
Finally, when Xiao Yi was ready to open the shopping cart, letting Luzhou scan the items, Luzhou said: “Pay for everything in the cart.”
Xiao Yi: “…………………………”
Luzhou gave Xiao Yi his Alipay numbers, and Xiao Yi then used the number to purchase all the items.
(T/N: Alipay is a payment method in China like paypal)
Xiao Yi notices Luzhou seemed a little sleepy and asked: “Sleep?”
“No.” Luzhou said, “Look to see if that person answered.”
Xiao Yi opened Weibo and said: “That person isn’t online and hasn’t replied either.”
Luzhou said: “Scold them a bit.”
Xiao Yi has to endure, so he opened Weibo. No wonder he must sign the confidentiality agreement, there is tons of shocking things to disclose such as this. After thinking about it, he decided to delete a couple of words in what he about to say.
“Put a movie on.” Luzhou said.
“What do you want to see?” Xiao Yi stand in front of the Blu-ray dvd player and squatted down, Luzhou said: “Something casual, slow pace.”
Xiao Yi picked a silent movie, while the light fluctuated, Luzhou leaned against the bed, watching the movie and said: “You need to wear a name tag.”
Xiao Yi became expressionless. ‘Do you want to wrap a dog chain around my neck too? Wait until I trick you to give me your autograph first, then I’ll resign!’
Xiao Yi didn’t hear Luzhou say anything else, he quietly exited the room and went to take a bath. When he entered the room again, he saw Luzhou had fallen asleep and quietly turned off the movie. Luzhou suddenly rolled over making Xiao Yi straighten up from reflex, preparing himself to be scolded by him, but fortunately, Luzhou just snored.
Xiao Yi then headed back to his room, it was incredible. Since being a child until now, he never lived in such a luxurious place. He jumped up and down on the bed a couple times, then opened his Weibo and saw a couple of news from Sina.com that pop-up. Xiao Yi then sent his girlfriend a message, apologizing to her and telling her that he found a new job.
(T/N: Sina.com is Chinese online media)
After that he set his alarm, turned off the light, and fell asleep.
This is what Luzhou look like 🙂